A woman has turned to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” community for advice after finding herself in the middle of a tricky dinner party dilemma.

The poster explains that she is a mom of three young children and cherishes the time she spends with them. Still, she believes there are moments when adults should enjoy time together without little ones in tow.

“We occasionally get together for dinner to chat and catch up,” she writes. “These dinners are sans kids because: (1) we like to try restaurants that might have only an adult menu and ambiance; (2) we tend to go after bedtime; and (3) sitting at a dinner table listening to grownups chit-chat seems incredibly tedious for a child.”

Her circle of friends, who collectively have 11 children under the age of six, meets occasionally for these adult-only evenings. It’s a chance to reconnect, try new restaurants, and enjoy a quiet night out without interruptions.

The New Invite

For their latest dinner, the group planned a night at a restaurant with what the poster describes as an “elevated menu and setting.” The plan was simple—good food, good conversation, no kids.

But complications arose when one friend, A, invited a newcomer, B. B is the mom of a preschooler and a 12-week-old baby. She said she’d love to attend—if she could bring her infant along.

At first, the poster welcomed the idea of meeting someone new and even adjusted the reservation to include her. But then she learned that B had already contacted the restaurant to ask about bringing a stroller, though she hadn’t received a reply.

That detail gave the organizer pause.

The Concerns

“Personally, I’d like it to be just a grown-up dinner,” she admits. Her reasoning:

1. The restaurant has a small floor plan, and a stroller could block traffic.
2. The establishment isn’t kid-friendly.
3. Reservations are hard to get, and other diners may not appreciate a crying baby.
4. The presence of a baby could be distracting for everyone.

Still, the group chat went quiet when the issue came up, leaving the poster feeling like she needed to step in.

Between Empathy and Boundaries

She acknowledges the challenge of B’s situation:

“On the one hand, I’ve definitely been on the other side of this — just having a baby can be very isolating and the need for adult interaction is strong.”

But she also recalls her own experience as a new mom, knowing there were times she had to decline certain events or suggest more appropriate alternatives, like coffee dates or lunches.

Her biggest concern is balance—she doesn’t want to exclude B, but she also doesn’t want the evening to lose its purpose.

“I don’t want her to feel excluded, but at the same time, I just don’t know how enjoyable this would be for everyone (B included)!”

The Reddit Verdict

Commenters on Reddit largely sided with the poster, reminding her that as the organizer, she had every right to maintain the adults-only boundary.

“You set up the dinner and it’s been clear these are adults-only nights for a reason,” one person wrote. “Babies are a whole different vibe, even if they’re quiet, and it changes the dynamic.”

Another suggested handling it delicately by involving the mutual friend who extended the invite:

“You should text the friend that invited B along privately and ask her to let her friend know that this is an adult-only event. Let her know she’s welcome to come along on a future play date with the kids or something more appropriate.”

The Takeaway

The poster remains torn, caught between wanting to be kind to a new mom seeking connection and preserving the adults-only tradition her group values. It’s a relatable dilemma—how do you balance compassion for someone’s personal situation with honoring the boundaries that make certain gatherings special?

For now, she’s weighing her next move, hoping to find a solution that feels respectful without compromising the evening’s spirit.

Do you want me to reshape this into a lighter lifestyle-magazine style (like something you’d read in Parents or Good Housekeeping) with a “lesson learned” or “expert tips” section at the end? That could make it more broadly appealing to casual readers.